Naked Education #13 – Progress, Assessment & Data Tracking (swearing at libitum)

I’ve seen the look in your eyes, seen you glaze over and look around wondering who else has no fucking clue.

You do all realise that you are supposed to have a grade C at GCSE in maths, which means that you should have some idea about statistics and analysis.

You also realise that, whilst you delude yourself into believing you have your own personal fiefdom in your classroom, you are Civil Servant and therefore accountable to the rest of society for your performance.

You exist in order to help children learn and make progress.

As a professional you should have some bastard idea how to measure that progress both qualitatively ( that’s the cute fluffy bit) and quantitively (that’s numerically).

You know Gove abandoned levels to mind fuck you all!  It worked, you look like a bunch of headless chickens!

Here’s how it goes:  You get pinged by OFSTED for being unable to show children have made progress.

This is because you are either shit or shit at showing you are not shit.

So, in order to fix the problem you visit other schools who actually understand the link between progress, efficient data management and collection. You then do the following:

  • Glaze over when the head of the outstanding school explains the why of data and how they have it embedded it across their school through effective, sustainable, change management.
  • Stare into your tea cup.
  • Ask what they do, & try to remember the process they apply.
  • Find out what software they use.
  • Head back to your own school non the wiser.

Once back at your own school you say the following:

For us to be good we need to do the following:

  • If we buy Xxxxxx software, then it will all be ok because they can deal with the data for us. (outsourcing your stupidity will result in you wasting money and retaining your current pathological level of stupidity)
  • If we highlight in yellow like they do at xxxx school we will be fine.
  • hopefully this will see us right.

You are a moron, you will still get pulled up at the next OFSTED because you were too thick or lazy to look at the why and devise a system that your teachers could own.

You are gulty of the crime of the Goat of Many Colours:

“It doesn’t matter what shiny things we do, it matters how many. If we hide behind that, nobody will find out we are a bunch of morons”

Go work in Curry’s.

PS Did you realise that if you analyse your data correctly, it would give you the evidence you need to put your shit teachers on competency and show you which elements of your school work and which are a total waste of time.  You are not doing it because OFSTED want it.  You are doing it to analyse children’s performance and do more of what works.

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