Affairs of the heart : Lying on the record

Lying on the record is either foolish, arrogant or just stupid. Possibly all three.  Its what Narcissists and sociopaths do and believe that they can control or manage the fall out.  I have that t-shirt and wore it for a while. It’s tight and very uncomfortable and leaves one feeling anxious and uneasy. You know, paranoid.  It must be admitted that I also have thought plenty about the efforts I went to to conceal some of my own behaviours and how destructive they have been to my own mental health.

Let’s start with my phone. Locked down password protected. Why? because It was my little black book that housed and concealed all my activities, those I was legitimately proud of and those I buried deep because they were wrong & matters to be ashamed of.  No more.  I have decided that my phone is now an open device to my partner.  No hiding because there is nothing to hide.  That is a decision about how I will live my future.  In the light.  It is how I will stay free of paranoia.

I imagine that this title will make more than a few people draw in breath and read it quickly hoping it doesn’t expose their special secrets.  Well relax, its just a hypothetical muse on my own life.

There are 7 deadly sins, the source of these seems to be the catholic church – but lets not get tied up on legacy.  Actually I believe my awareness of them was raised by the Morgan Freeman film ‘Seven’, one of the most barbaric and malignant films I have ever watched.

The thing that strikes me is that OPEN ordinary decent socially responsible behaviour on the web bears no threat.  Maintaining a sustainable digital footprint is only a problem if you engage in the 7 deadly sins of the web:
  • Lust (porn, paedophillia, sexting, affairs)
  • Gluttony (addiction)
  • Greed (friends or followers)
  • Sloth (apathy)
  • Wrath (flame wars or terrorism)
  • Envy (gossip, stalking and harassment)
  • Pride (vanity posting)
Remember:  The internet and social networks are inert but they are also a mirror.  They reflect back at you the worst excesses of your character & most crucially, the mirror has a long, long memory. 
The internet can  facilitate the stripping back of  inhibition as we forget we are speaking to the world.  I suggest the internet is the most truthful mirror we can ever look into.
The challenge is simple.
Look in the mirror:
Remember; “be sure your ‘sin’ will find you out.”
Not this week, but sometime, maybe when you want that new job, maybe your Sloth will lead to your identity being stolen.
The truth is that you can’t have affairs and ever hope to keep them secret, you can’t force someone to love you and overwhelm them by oaths of love through every media channel.  It won t work.  My Pandora’s box has been opened, it was a huge relief.  Now, I tell the truth, and want to have an open mindset where the anxiety of protecting my pandoras box is gone.  I can’t tell you what a relief it is.  All that matters is that I stand in the light. No lies.
Are you in the light? Or are you still sulking in the shadows, awaiting a tap on the shoulder or that expose blog you hope never gets written.  How will you keep it out of the social media loop?
I leave you with a Supertramp track:  ‘Brother where you Bound’  We all face a choice about how we employ the internet….the difficult part is that moral upright choices are never quite as seductive as the deadly sins.

8 thoughts on “Affairs of the heart : Lying on the record

    • I wasn’t saying they were thought crimes, I was drawing a parallel between the society described in Orwell’s 1984 and the capacity technology now affords society when combined with our apathy towards search history to access trends in our ‘thoughts’ . It isn’t happening – but it could.

  1. Pingback: Privacy diary – days six and seven « More than a maths teacher

  2. Excellent post. From my perspective, of all the items on your list, wrath seems like the most consistent problem seducing kids on the internet today. The ability to say something cruel at any time, the ability to make it so public, and even the ability to make it anonymous are very different from previous modes of social interaction.

      • That’s true, there more definitely is a trail. But perhaps the trail is breadcrumbs? Or seems that way? Maybe the problem is the illusion of anonymity…

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